SÖZCÜKLER parmaklarımın marifetiyle kalemimden süzülenlerdir.
Aklımın ve kalbimin ortak kararlarıyla oluşmuş holozoik bir köprüden ve onun izniyle köprüden geçen kelimeler.Artık kelime olmaz onların tanımı onlar artık olay şahitleridir.Damarları yol bulan ve boş bulduğu lahza dökülenler…
Bilemiyorum belki bu yüzden yakıcı belki bu yüzden titreten.Boş bulduğu an .Muazzam değil mi en saçma duygular ve döküntüleri,belki de en doğru derinlerin doğrusu duygulardır.İnsan bu reddeder nefes almaya başladığından beri etmiyor mu zaten.Kolay olmalı bu da ötekiler gibi.Hatta öyle kolay olmalı ki ben üzerinde hayatını çuvala doldurup bütün gücüyle ezdiği bir kendilik tanıyorum.Parça olmuşluğun bütününü…
Birkaç tanecik,sıraya dizilmiş grup olmuş emir vermiş emir beklemiş.Ve sonrasında yönetimini geçirdiği,cihan olmuş.Öyle bir cihan ki kıralı belli ancak görünmez olmuş.
Bir sada delermi acıyan damarımı içinde ne olduğunu bilmediğim şeyi akıtır mı?Bilmediğim görmediğim …Haliyle bilmediğimi göremiyor görmediğimi bilemiyorum,bilemiyordum,bilmekte mümkün olmayacak gibi.Ancak bu kudrete ne aklım ne kalbim direnebiliyor.Nasıl dirensin ki ona içinde olduğu cihan dar geliyor.
Bir sözcük basit baya bir görünüş,içini mi sordunuz bilemezsiniz köprünüzden geçmediği sürece ancak benzetirsiniz.
Sus bence kelimelerin anahtarıdır susmak eğer ki onları görmek istiyorsan.
Onlar sakin ,ağır ,gerekli dünyanın göçmenleri; senin nefes aldığından beri içinde olduğun, efendisini bilmediğin yere mi?Bak sordun! Orası neresi? Sen sen değilsin artık sen olduğunu unuttun.Kurulduğun;tahtın, sandığın o yüksekçe yer içine sokuldun.Çığlıklarını kendine sakla kimse, kimse olduğunu unuttu seni nasıl duysun?
Köklerine sarıl belki korkun diner,büyür haddi kadar belki seni besler…
Z.B.Y.
La Vie Sauvage...
9 yıl önce
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